Monday, July 28, 2008


I. Am. NEVER. Drinking. Again...EVER!!!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Coffy (1973)

The first i heard of Blaxploitation queen Pam Grier was in Tarantino's Jackie Brown...damn shame, i know.

Coffy (1973) is a blaxploitation film featuring the original "foxy brown" chick, miss Pam Grier. After her little sister is taken ill due to contaminated drugs, she takes her vengeance on each one of those motherfuckers involved in the trade: the pimps, the dealers, the mobsters, the bad cops - all of them.

She bitch fights about a dozen women, blows off a dude's head with a shot gun, blows off another dude's balls (again with a shotgun), and runs over 2 guys with a of them was run over while he was INSIDE the house...she drove the car through the front door!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Oval Office Terrorists

If you don't live in a boat, then you should have seen this already..

Set in the White House -

Michelle all afro-ed up with her army garb complete with camouflage pants and boots (note the crossed legs LMFAO) and an AK strapped on her back.

Obama with a turban, a kanzu and desert-people flip flops (what? -i'm keeping up the politically incorrect spirit here).

In the background a US flag burns in the fire place, and a portrait of Osama hangs on the wall. Oh, and that gesture with their hands would be "the terrorist fist jab", as FOX news called it.

This is what made the front page cover of The New Yorker (hasn't hit the stands yet).

The intended reaction for this, which was to hold a mirror to/ridicule those Obama haters and their BS claims, has for the most part backfired: Obama fans are pissed and Obama haters are cheering (the fucking joke's on you, idiots!!). Obama himself wasn't pleased...shame.

I think its absofuckinglutely hillarious and see zero foul play by the popular mag. This one's going to my desktop background..

5. Artemis Fowl: The Last Colony

yeeeah, um....this one was kinda confusing, but I'll try my best. Here goes:
The Demons (not sure if its the kind we refer to as "demons") are in world whose time out. When this time runs out (ok this part i'm sure of) the demon's world and the human worlds will merge which means DEMONS EVERYWHERE for us!!

So, like in all the books, they enlist the fairies help and save the worlds bla bla bla..

BUT, book has the best ending ever! Check this out:
--Artemis has a fairy eye --long explanation
--When Artemis came back (from saving the demon world), he ended up 3 years in the future..he's now 18!!
--His parents did "the wild thing" and he now has 2 year old twin brothers.
--The french girl is still into him, and best of all,
--Artemis now has magical powers!!!

the new book comes out today!!!
*tingles with intense anticipation*

Saturday, July 12, 2008

4. Artemis fowl: The Opal Deception

This 4th installment features Opal, who faked being in a come not only to avoid arrest, but also to have time to plot her revenge on those who got her arrested. when the time comes, she escapes and leaves a clone behind in her place.

The crazy bitch goes on to cruelly kill Commander Julius and frame Holly for the murder. She then screws up LEP weaponry and as planned, places the on Foaly the centaur, whom she's trapped locked up in his tech room. Holly, now a fugitive, goes into exile up on earth and enlists Artemis' help. As it turns out, he too is on Opals short list.

Opal ventures on earth and mesmerizes a human scientist into believing she is his "beloved daughter whom he'd do anything for". The scientist just happens to be planning the deepest excavation in human history. Her plan is to get the humans to dig deep enough to uncover the fairy world, a act which will inevitably lead to war.

Opal captures Holly and Artemis and dumps them in an area full of Trolls. She goes on to sadistically watch expecting the trolls to maul them to death. Much to her chagrin, they escape (by a hair, i might add) and plot a counterattack that eventually brings her down.

3. Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code

This one begins with Artemis meeting with an American Tycoon somewhere in Europe. He is planning to exhibit his new invention, the C cube, fashioned from remnants of fairy technology - which is at least 20 years ahead of humans'.

Surprisingly, the American double crosses him, takes the C cube and fatally shoots Butler. This wouldn't be a big deal except the C cube could potentially allow the humans to compromise the fairies underground AND put the two species at war. The fairies (obviously) have no qualms about helping Artemis recover it.

Butler is brought back to life. The cube is recovered and destroyed. and all is well..

2. Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident

Been a while since i wrote about the first AF book, figured i might as well write about the rest before the NEW ONE (book 6) COMES OUT ON TUESDAY!!!!!

Artemis' dad is apparently alive, captured somewhere in Russia by some mob/gang. Down at "fairyland", the goblins, aided by the pixie Opal Koboi, plan a take over of the LEPrecon. Artemis and Holly reach a mutual agreement to help each other. Artemis' dad is recovered (much thanks to Holly's magic), and the Goblin's plan to stage a coup at the police force is foiled by Artemis' genius mind. Opal Koboi is taken under arrested.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Batman: Gotham Knight/The Dark Knight

Gotham Knight is the latest anime-style animation of the Batman DC comics. Its an anthology of 6 animated short films that (they say) are set in between Batman Begins (2005) and The Dark Knight (2008), although i don't see how, exactly.

Just saw it yesterday and to be honest, given the chance to go back in time, i'd pass on watching it. I don't have much experience on animated films (i avoid watching them) but i just found the drawing shitty. Its like they were DIRECTLY animating the comics. Another thing was the 6 films in the 1hr 15 minutes which left little room for character development; and finally, i thought the villains were rather randomly cast...i've never even heard of them. If anything, this movie just made me more eager to see The Dark knight.

Speaking of "The Dark Knight", not only is Heath Ledger creating Oscar buzz for his new movie, he is also attracting unprecedented ticket sales for its opening week...all this from beyond the grave, i might add. According to Yahoo News, movie theatres are getting so overwhelmed they're adding a 6 a.m time slot in addition to sold out 12 a.m screenings.

I will be there when The Dark Knight opens July 18.

R.I.P Heath Ledger.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

In Memory Of "The 'N' Word"...LOL.

" the closet, that's ma stuff - yes if i bought it, nigga please don't touch..." -Beyonce

Its been about a year since the NAACP held a mock funeral for the "N" word, complete with a casket and a hymn singing choir. People called it a waste of time...some said it was rather pointless; Others even went "nigga please"...they were all right.

Was it a faked death? Are we facing a ghost, or a zombie?

Truth is, the "N" word is anything but dead and the funeral didn't change shit. The word is no less alive today than it was before it was buried. It sure as hell isn't dead in the entertainement industry which was the NAACP's target...The cartoon show The Boondocks uses it like a conjunction, and if i remember correctly, rapper Nas wanted to title his new album "Nigger".

Honestly, for a word whose derivatives cause harm solely to a group of people, i find it strange that they are the very ones against getting rid of it. One day people throw it around in everyday conversations and the next, somebody's ass is on the line because of "racist remarks".

lol @ Hitler

Vantage Point

A Series of Very Fortunate Events (spoiler alert!)

Vantage Point follows the "assasination" of the President of the United States at a summit in Salamanca from the View/Vantage Points of about 8 different characters: the bodyguards, the terrorists, the bodyguard/terrorist, the REAL president, viewers at the summit, and a news agency.

The movie loops from one perspective to another, each one building the plot and providing a crucial piece to the puzzle that is what actually happenned. It all climaxes towards the end in a series of VERY fortunate events where all their paths crash and collide - literally, even.

Vantage Point has a talented star-studded cast of Forest Whitaker, Dennis Quaid, Matthew Fox, Wiliam Hurt, Sigourney Weaver and Zoe Saldana; and its got some SERIOUS car chasing scenes in the streets of Spain second only to THE BOURNE IDENTITY films...I do not blaspheme.

This is one thriller you shouldn't miss...

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Bond 22: Quantum of Solace Trailer

The teaser for the long awaited 22nd bond film starring Daniel Craig as 007 was released a few days ago and i was completely beside myself -Totally ecstatic!

Almost 2 years we've waited for a sneak peek at the next film and now its finally here!

Bond is (apparently) now driven with rage following of the loss of his fiance, Vesper Lynd, who commits suicide in Casino Royale. Whether he goes rogue or M kicks him out of MI6, as implied in the trailer, is something i could easily google (or find by reading the book) but would rather wait for the movie.

The film stars Craig in his second 007 bond role, Dame Dench as M, and Ukrainian model/actress bombshell Olga Kurylenko (left) as Camille, the bond girl. She's about the only thing i remember from the movie "Hitman" (if you've seen it you know what i mean *wink*).

I do find it a bit dissapointing that once again Miss Moneypenny won't be making an appearance. Then again it would be very cold of Bond to flirt with M's trusty secretary at a time like this. Her absence in Casino Royale still remains inexcused in my books...

The Movie opens in theaters November 7th 2008